


Watching You

by Robron101



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, M/M, Sleep Deprivation, Very light sexual content, Watching Someone Sleep, implied mentions of rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 06:16:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6742552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robron101/pseuds/Robron101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look into Robert Sugden's psyche as he watches Aaron sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Watching You

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so first off, I promise it's not 3,000 and some words of Robert just watching Aaron sleep. There will be conversations But the like the first six hundred words are him watching Aaron. Also the name for this story was kinda creepy but watching someone sleep is creepy to me, so - to me - it fits. Also it's not really a look into Robert's mind seeing as this is written in third person but still the idea is there . . . that entire summary is just misleading.

It was nearing two am. Robert was wide awake - he knew he should try and sleep - but he couldn't find the strength to stop watching Aaron. It's been like this for the past couple of nights now. Aaron would fall asleep first and Robert would watch him for hours. He'd always regret it when he woke up after finally falling asleep - not even aware he had because he was so entranced by Aaron. He'd be exhausted the next day - worn out enough to the point he'd start nodding off at random times - but by the time they'd be in bed and Aaron falls asleep - Robert is captured by the younger man and he can't stop staring long enough to sleep.

It was the peacefulness on Aaron's face while he slept that hypnotized Robert. He'd never seen him so calm - his face empty of sadness or pain. The only other time Robert had seen him like this when he was awake was the week they'd spent at Home Farm together. 

Now he only got see him like this when he slept. He was trying so hard to get him back to that place without pushing him into it. Trying to build better memories; the only problem was he didn't know where to start. 

He thought it would be in Barcelona, but Liv showing up put a damper in that plan. Robert was sure that they'd eventually get away alone together but now his timetable couldn't predict when that would be. 

Aaron mumbled nonsense in his sleep, his brow creased before smoothing out again. He rolled over on to his side and threw an arm over Robert's chest. Robert would have sank his fingers into his hair if he knew it wouldn't wake him up. 

This new night time ritual gave him plenty of time to think. Think about the way Aaron's nose would sometimes twitch, or the way he'd sigh peacefully every now and again. He'd think about how soft Aaron's pink lips felt when he kissed them, and he had to stop himself from leaning in for a taste. 

A thrill ran through Robert. He could now. He could lean over and kiss him; wake him up just so they could snog. Aaron would be aggravated but Robert knew he'd fall into a steady rhythm of kisses and enjoy himself even though he'd be cranky later. But Robert didn't want to disturb him. He opted for running his fingertips over Aaron's arm that laid across his chest. 

Aaron sighed causing Robert's fingers to still. When Aaron's breathing went back to normal, Robert continued. While he could casually touch Aaron now, thrilled Robert. At the same time it felt weird. Weird good. 

He didn't have to hide how he felt. He could sing it from the fucking rooftops if he wanted that Aaron was his. Robert knew he was possessive, but for once he wasn't embarrassed by it. He revealed in the knowledge. He was sure Aaron could see it at times. Robert would get this dark look in his eyes; a look that said, _your mine!_ Aaron's eyes would become guarded and Robert would try to reel in it, but it was hard for him. Hard to hide how badly he wanted and needed him. 

Sometimes he worried he'd scare him away, and it wouldn't even be by doing something stupid or psychotic, but by loving him so much it was borderline obsessive. Such as now; with watching him sleep. It was crazy to Robert that he could love someone so greatly that he was chuffed by just watching them sleep. He wasn't even getting anything from it. They weren't having sex yet - Robert impressed by his own patience in that matter - he wasn't pressuring Aaron; right now it was enough just to hold him while he slept. 

That surprised Robert the most. He was a very sexual person and even though sleeping next to Aaron was great, Robert found he did have a hard time keeping his hands to himself. Especially when Aaron would start the kisses and he'd run his hands over Robert's chest and down his stomach just stopping shy of his waistline. But he didn't push, beg for more, or demand anything from him. He let Aaron stay in control; something the younger man needed more than anything right now. 

Robert sighed and chanced a touch to Aaron's face; using only the tips of his fingers with the lightest of pressure. He ran his fingers over his cheekbones, from the start of his hairline all the way down over the bridge of his nose to the tip of it, and down over his lips and stopped at his beard covered chin. 

“I missed you so much,” he whispered and then yawned. He rolled over, making sure Aaron's arm stayed wrapped around him. He put his arm around Aaron and without trying to jostle him too much; pulled him close. Aaron shifted in his sleep, his body forming against Robert's, and his face pressed to the crook of Robert's neck. 

Robert buried his face in Aaron's hair and yawned again. His eyes started to droop and he tried to forced them open. He didn't want to sleep through this moment or any moment spent with Aaron, but he couldn't stop it. His eyes feeling like lead finally slipped closed and he drifted off to sleep. 

***

He was shaken awake with Aaron telling him to get his lazy arse up. Robert’s felt like his bones were made of mush, he couldn't keep his eyes open, and raising his head up off the pillow seemed like the hardest thing in the world to do. He somehow - not that he had a clue as to how - managed to sit up in Aaron's bed and rest his exhausted body against the headboard. 

_Wake up_ , he told himself. _Wake up. Wake up!_

“You look horrible,” Aaron commented. “Did you even sleep?” 

“A little,” Robert mumbled but it was so garbled from exhaustion that Aaron hadn't understood him. Robert eyes slid closed and his snapped forward; his chin resting on his chest. 

“Rob,” Aaron shook him by the shoulder. Robert jerked his head up, forcing his eyes open to stare at Aaron who was standing over him. 

“I'm awake,” he said as his eyes proceeded to slip shut again. “Fuck,” he groaned and ran hand over his sleepy face. He yawned one, twice, and a third time.

“Robert, you're a mess,” Aaron said. “This is the fourth time you've woken up exhausted. Why aren't you sleeping.”  
“I am,” he started blinking his eyes to keep them from shutting again. He was sleeping, but the night before last it had only been four hours, the night before that it was 5, and last night - he peeked over at the clock - he'd had three hours of sleep. _Fuck._

“No you're not. Is it the bed? Is it uncomfortable?” Aaron's bed was actually very comfortable - not as soft as the one he'd had at Home Farm, but he had no complaints. 

“Bed’s fine,” he said and yawned once again. 

“Is it me?” Robert's eyes snapped open and they stayed that way. Aaron wasn't looking at him. He had his lip between his teeth and was staring at his quilt as if fascinated by its pattern. 

“No,” Robert assured him. It wasn't a direct lie. Aaron had asked if it was him as in a bad way. It wasn't bad though. He was keeping him up at night but it was only so Robert could watch him sleep. 

“I'll understand if you want to go back to Keeper’s Cottage. I only asked you to stay that one night.” Aaron still wouldn't look at him. Robert reached out and put a finger under his chin; forcing Aaron to look at him. 

“I want to be here,” Robert said. “I'm fine. I have trouble sleeping but it's not your fault.”

“You look so tired,” Aaron touched the bags underneath his eyes. 

“Nothing a hot shower and a couple cups of coffee couldn't fix.” he shrugged. 

“It can't be easy for you,” Aaron bit his lip again. “Sleeping in the same bed and not getting anything out of it.”

“Aaron,” Robert laughed. He wasn't sure if it was at Aaron or caused by sleep deprivation. “I'm getting plenty out of it. Being here with you is enough.” 

Aaron gave him a pointed look that said he didn't believe him. “Honestly, I'm fine.” 

Aaron picked at the quilt before lunging towards Robert, slamming his lips again the older man's. It sent electric currents through Robert's body, recharging him and washing away his sleepiness. The kiss woke him up better than any shower or coffee could achieve. His body felt on fire as Aaron straddled his waist. His hands tangled into Robert's hair, his tongue pushing into his mouth and earning a moan from Robert.

The blood in his body rushed South. Aaron’s lips stilled for a moment as he felt Robert's hardness beneath. It was only a second before Aaron continued the heated kiss, but it was long enough for Robert to know Aaron didn't want this. He would have pushed Aaron away but everything felt so good, and his head was so clouded with lust. 

He wrapped his arms around Aaron, pulling him closer. His hand slipped up the back of his T-shirt, moving around the front to touch his stomach. Aaron stilled and jerked back as Robert's hand brushed over his scarred skin. 

He rolled off Robert and curled in on himself. “Aaron,” Robert reached for him and Aaron jerked away from him again. 

“Don't-don’t touch me,” he cried. Robert let his hand drop as a sharp pang went through his chest. “I'm so sorry,” Aaron mumbled. He brought his knees up to his chest and buried his face in them. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I shouldn't have let it go there,” Robert wanted to touch him, soothe him; do anything he could to make it go away,but he didn't know how. 

“It's just,” his words were muffled by his knees and mixed with tears, but Robert heard. “When you touch me there it reminds me that I feel . . . dirty and wrong . . . it's too much.” 

Robert didn't know what to say; too afraid he'd say the wrong thing and hurt Aaron more. He waited for Aaron to calm down, for his shoulders to stop shaking from his crying, and his breathing to calm.

“I wanna be that way with you,” Aaron lifted his head; rested his chin on his knees, and stares at Robert. “I really do. I wanna make you feel good. I just . . .”

“When we get there - and I have complete faith that we will - I want you to be able to enjoy it as much as I know I will. I wanna make you feel good too, but I don't want you pushing yourself into something to make me happy.” 

“Isn't that you what you're supposed to do in a relationship, make the other person happy?” 

“Not if it means hurting yourself to give the other person what they want. That won't make me happy any more than it would you.” Robert tentatively reached out touch Aaron's cheek. Aaron didn't pull back but closed his eyes and leant into his touch. 

“You'll know when _you’re_ ready,” Robert moved one finger to stroke his cheek and smiled as the movement made Aaron sigh. “Don’t hurt yourself to please me, Aaron. You'll only end up hurting both of us, if you do.”

“It's unfair to you,” Robert shook his and then shrugged. 

“No, it's really not. You're who I want and if I have to wait months or years, then I will.” 

“I don't think you'll have to wait years,” Aaron said. 

“I'm prepared to do so.” He winked. Then ever so slowly he leant into Aaron, cautioning him with his eyes, and when Aaron didn't pull back, he pressed a soft kiss to his lips. 

“You need to brush your teeth,” Robert said after they pulled back. 

“You weren't exactly complaining a moment ago,” Aaron grumbled. 

“It's a little hard to care or think when you get me going like that,” Robert yawned again. Aaron reached out to touch the bags underneath his eyes again. 

“You should sleep some more,” Robert batted his hand away. 

“Quit fussing over me. M’fine,” but he yawned again; proving Aaron right and causing him to smirk. 

“Sleep,” he ordered. “I'm gonna go shower.” 

He watched as Aaron gathered some clean clothes to take with him into the bathroom. “Sleep,” he said one last time before closing the bedroom door behind him. 

Robert would have liked to sleep, but Aaron was awake. While he loved watching him sleep, he loved being awake and spending time with him more. He'd missed so much time with him that he could've given up sleep to altogether so he never had to miss any more moments with him. He got up, got dressed, and went downstairs to make himself some very strong coffee. 

***

Robert was dead on his feet when he walked into the pub. He spun in a circle twice, looking for Aaron before realizing he hadn't taken in a single face around him. 

“He’s in the back,” Chas called to him from behind the bar. Robert yawned and stumbled his way back there. 

“You alright?” Chas asked before he could escape into the back. “You look like you haven't slept for days.”

“Why are you and your son so obsessed with my sleeping habits,” Robert snapped. 

Chas held up her hands. “Sorry for asking. Sure are cranky.” 

“M’fine,” he mumbled and went into the back. 

“What are you doin’ here?” Aaron said from his place on the sofa. “I told you to stay at Vic’s tonight!” 

When Aaron had come downstairs after his shower to find Robert fully dressed and at the table, drinking coffee; he nearly had a fit. He told Robert not to come over tonight and to stay at his until he got a full night's rest. Of course Robert never listened to Aaron. 

“You're about to drop!” Robert swayed where he was standing and mumbled something that sounded an awful lot like ‘shut up’. 

“Go upstairs and go to bed,” he order. 

“Not my mum,” Robert grumbled. 

“Thank God for that,” Aaron snapped. “Go to bed before you pass out right here on the floor.” 

“Come with me,” he yawned again. 

“Robert, it's only eight.” 

“Well I'm not going unless you come with me,” Robert ran a hand through his hair. He leant against the sofa. Staring down at Aaron; too stubborn to move without him. “Why don't I just stay down here with you. We can watch that DVD you rented.”

“You mean the one we watched yesterday?” Robert stared at him, not remembering any movie watching. “You so tired you don't even remember that, do you?” 

“Sure I do,” he lied. 

“You are a shit liar. Go to bed!”

“Can't sleep if you're not there,” Robert pouted and held out a hand for him to take. 

“You don’t sleep when I am there,” he said and sighed. “Fine,” Aaron rolled his eyes and took Robert's hand,”but just until you fall asleep.”

“M’kay,” Robert let go of Aaron's hand and followed him up stairs. He took off his jacket and dropped it somewhere on the floor and then threw himself down on the bed, not even bothering to kick his shoes off. 

He felt Aaron remove his shoes and socks for him. “Roll over, “ he told Robert. He did and Aaron began unbuttoning his shirt. 

“Always did love to undress me,” his comment earned him a smack in the forehead. 

“Lean up a bit,” Robert was somehow able to lean up enough for Aaron to push his shirt off his shoulders and pull it from behind him. He tossed it to the floor and then moved down and started to unbutton his trousers. 

“Let me,” Robert said and tried to push Aaron’s hands away. 

“They’re just trousers, Robert,” Aaron batted his hands away and finished unbuttoning his pants. He hooked his fingers in the waistband and pulled down. Robert reached down to hold his boxers in place so Aaron didn’t pull them off as well. “Get under the covers.” 

Robert did as told. Aaron laid down next to him on top of the covers. “Now go to sleep.” 

Robert rolled onto his side and put his hand on Aaron’s shirt covered stomach. He put his face close to Aaron’s, his breath tickling the younger man’s face. Robert didn’t close his eyes, not wanting to fall asleep and lose this moment. 

“Close your eyes,” Aaron said when he looked over at him. “You can’t sleep with your eyes open.” 

“How do you know?” He yawned out. 

“Robert . . .” He closed his eyes only to open them again not two seconds later. 

“Do you have nightmares?” 

“Is that why you haven’t been sleeping?” Aaron asked. “Because you’re having nightmares.” 

“No. I haven’t had a nightmare in a long time.” 

“Then why are you asking me, instead of sleeping?” 

“When you sleep you look really peaceful. So I didn’t know if you had them or not.”  
“You’re watching me sleep,” Aaron glared and pushed his hand off. “That’s creepy.” 

“You’re interesting,” Robert put his hand back and moved closer. “But you’re avoiding my question. Do you have nightmares?” 

“Yes,” Aaron admitted. “All the time.” 

“What are they about?” 

“Robert, go to sleep.” Aaron snapped and turned away from him. He didn’t want to tell Robert about his nightmares - even though he was sure Robert knew what they were about. 

“It’s fine. I’m here, y’know?” Aaron wished he was still looking at Robert so he could see him roll his eyes. He rolled back over. 

“Please. Sleep.” Robert closed his eyes and snuggled even more into Aaron. It didn’t take long before he dropped out of reality and into dreamland. Aaron waited for the kicking to start; knowing that meant Robert had drifted off into a deep sleep. 

He was planning on getting up but he couldn’t stop staring at the sleeping Robert. He looked so innocent. Aaron scoffed. _Innocent. There’s nothing innocent about you._ He reached a single finger to run it across his jawline. 

“I missed you so much,” he whispered. 

He laid his head down next to Robert’s and that night Aaron watched Robert sleep.


End file.
